Baby Bumps…

Defiant: Giovanna took to Instagram today to hit back at the person who had made comments about her face and tummy just days after giving birth, saying: 'I was baffled over the stranger's need to share her thoughts'

I found myself completely disgusted yesterday to read about the comments that were made to Giovanna Fletcher (wife to Tom Fletcher from the band McFly) by a complete and utter stranger. Just eleven days after giving birth to her second son, Buddy Bob, a woman approached Giovanna and body shamed her for still having a baby bump! Yes you read right – another woman felt compelled to point, laugh and say “Oh look, Mummy’s still got her tummy!”

Anyone who has welcomed a child into the World will know that, just because your baby is now in your arms, doesn’t mean that your bump is going to magically shrink back to its pre-pregnancy size. And lets face it, why should that even matter?! At eleven days post childbirth, why should any woman be concerned about carrying a little extra weight? I know I wasn’t following the births of my two daughters –  I was far too besotted with the little healthy bundles my body had given me to even notice, or care for that matter!

I think what has really stayed with me after reading Giovanna’s story is the fact that such insensitive comments were made by another woman; someone who in my mind should have been supportive, not judgemental. My guess (and it is merely a guess) is that the woman in question, whoever she is, probably hasn’t yet experienced the joys of motherhood. Or she’s an avid follower of celebrity gossip columns and assumes that everyone has the money, time and inclination to hire a personal trainer (as so many celebrities are reported as doing), so that they ‘ping’ back to their pre-pregnancy shape in a week.

Yes I fear that the media (be it newspaper, magazine, TV, internet or social networks) may once again be (partly) responsible for ensuring that some women in today’s society hold an unrealistic perception of body image following childbirth. Of course there will always be exceptions; individuals who are financially comfortable enough to employ a personal trainer and regain their post-pregnancy figure relatively quickly, but for most new Mums this just isn’t an option. The reality is that many women retain a baby bump for a number of weeks, months or in some cases even years after having a baby (and most, who have produced new life, are perfectly OK with that!).

I’m pleased to see that Giovanna has taken a pragmatic approach to motherhood; embracing her post-pregnancy curves and fighting back against this one particular hater, whilst encouraging other women to spread love to each other rather than pointing the finger of judgement. As I, myself, enter my seventh month of pregnancy with my third baby, I am reminded by Giovanna that my bump is an amazing thing; a miracle worker, that produces life. And I’ll always be thankful to it for that!

 

 

 

A ‘Festive’ MIL Moment!

It’s been a while since I last posted here…. bloomin’ ages in fact! I don’t really have an excuse for my lack of attention, save to say that I have been exceptionally busy being a full-time working mum to two children (soon to be three!). I’ve also been trying to be a thyroid warrior; helping to raise awareness of thyroid disease via Twitter (@butterflyjourn1) and my other blog abutterflyjournal.wordpress.com As many of you might recall I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism following the birth of my youngest daughter in October 2013. It was supposed to be post-partum and temporary, but unfortunately my body’s antibodies had other ideas and did a fantastic job of killing-off my thyroid gland completely. Being hypothyroid brings with it a whole host of unseen complications, that can make life more difficult. This is particularly so now that I am pregnant again. After a full-day at the office I have just about enough energy to cook a meal for my brood and then it’s off to bed for me! I’m exhausted like I’ve never been exhausted before. It is most definitely an inconvenience, but thankfully I have a wonderful husband who is able to pick up the slack when I’m struggling….

If I’m honest, I’ve struggled through the festive season. Don’t get me wrong, Christmas was lovely; a true family affair at my parent’s home in Scotland, and a few days where I could relax and put my feet up. The Pelvic Girdle Pain (PGP) I’ve been experiencing almost melted away into oblivion thanks to the support of my parents who took a really active role in helping to look after my youngest daughter, letting me get some much needed rest. New year, however, I could have seen that far enough! That’s when my mother-in-law (MIL) chose to release the narcissistic monster within… I received a solitary voice mail on Hogmanay (a Scottish term for New Years Eve) from my MIL, expressing her dissatisfaction at being unable to contact my husband or I. She indicated that she had tried ‘repeatedly’ to call us for two days, despite there being absolutely no missed calls on our land line or mobile phones. She expressed the assumption that she would see us on New Year’s Day and demanded that I call her back immediately! I didn’t… I’ve learned from experience that when my MIL is enraged it is not worth trying to hold a civil conversation with her. And so I sent her a text. It may not be the best way to communicate, but I figured that absolutely no communication at all would only make matters worse. I explained that we had long standing plans that evening to attend a party being hosted by our friends and reminded her (as it had already been previously discussed) that we planned to see my Sister and Brother-in-Law on New Year’s Day. I indicated that we would see her very soon to catch up, and I heard nothing more… from her anyway.

I’ve also learned that my MIL’s silence is very telling. When she is quiet, she is sulking; very much like a petulant child. It’s her default response to not getting her own way. But while she is sulking with me, she will play a very different game with other members of my husband’s family. Typically, this will involve calling my Husband’s Brother and Sister-in-Law, and spinning an elaborate yarn about how awful I’ve been to her (usually because we’ve said no to one of her demands). This occasion was no exception! Within half an hour of my text to my MIL I’d received a text from my SIL, asking if we’d seen my MIL over the festive period? And if not, why not? This is despite our plans – Christmas with my parents and New Year with friends and my Sister – being made clear to all of my husband’s family early on in December.

This was followed by further texts from my SIL telling me how down-in-the-dumps and depressed my MIL is; how sorry she feels for her, and that we should be looking after family in need! This alleged low-mood and depression was news to us. Not once had my MIL mentioned it to my husband or me, and she sees us most weeks. A coincidental contact from my SIL? Probably not! And the emotional stuff, well, it worked! My husband attempted to call his mother on New Year’s Eve to check that she was ok… But she refused to talk to him (yet another one of her games!) And on New Year’s Day there was yet more silence, which only served to upset my husband further, and in turn caused a great deal of ill-feeling between us.

Whether it is because I am pregnant, in physical pain with my pelvis, and feeling emotional at the mo, I’m not sure, but my MIL’s behaviour really got to me. And I mean really…. I felt STRESSED up to my eye balls! Yes there have been far worse ‘incidents’, but my usual resilience that helps me cope, just wasn’t there! I never want to feel that way again – it’s not good for my health (stress makes the symptoms of thyroid disorders worse) and its certainly not good for the baby I’m carrying!

My MIL is obviously not concerned with my wellbeing, so I have to be! Hence, I’ve decided that for the foreseeable future I am going to keep my husband’s mother at arm’s length! Her behaviour at New Year only served to reinforce that she is chronically jealous of our little functional family unit. Eight years I’ve put up with her chaotic behaviour , but no more!

Do you have a NPDMIL? Please feel free to leave your ‘MIL moments’ in the comments section – I’d love to hear from you!

Take Care x

Hypothyroid Mummy!

I gave birth to my second child in October 2013. She (along with my eldest daughter) has already filled my heart and my World with so much happiness and love that sometimes I think I just might burst! But along with immeasurable joy, bringing new life into the World has also brought with it an auto-immune nightmare. Just over six weeks ago I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (an under active thyroid). Extreme fatigue, hair loss, severely aching muscles and joints, and carpel tunnel syndrome have wreaked havoc on my day-to-day life. Some days I struggle to even get out of bed… but I do, because I am a Mum and by extension that means that I have to! Prior to pregnancy I was a healthy woman, now my condition puts me at increased risk of diabetes, heart disease, cancer and Alzheimer’s.

So what is happening to me?

Postpartum Thyroiditis

Postpartum thyroiditis is a condition in which the thyroid, a small butterfly shaped gland at the base of the neck, becomes inflamed and fails to function as it should in the months following childbirth. As pregnancy causes great hormonal upheaval, women are at an increased risk of developing thyroid dysfunction during this time. Indeed, studies have shown that 1 in 12 women Worldwide will experience postpartum thyroiditis. And as with any medical condition, each woman will experience symptoms differently. Some may experience what has been termed the ‘classical form’ of postpartum thyroiditis; where symptoms of short-term hyperthyroidism (an over active thyroid) present initially, and are followed quickly by hypothyroidism symptoms. Others may experience isolated hyperthyroidism or isolated hypothyroidism.

It is early days for me and so I am not yet sure which form of thyroiditis I have. I am scheduled to see an endocrinologist later this month and will hopefully find out more (fingers crossed!). I am aware that some women recover fully within 12 – 18 months postpartum – a fact I am clinging onto – but my research has also found that almost half of the women diagnosed with postpartum thyroiditis continue to experience symptoms for the rest of their lives.

So what about you? Do you suffer any of the following symptoms?

Hyperthyroidism (overactive thyroid)

• Sudden weight loss

• Rapid heartbeat and palpitations

• Nervousness, anxiety and irritability

• Sweating

• More frequent bowel movements

• Fatigue

• Muscle weakness

• Difficulty sleeping

Hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid)

• Fatigue

• Unexplained weight gain

• Constipation

• Pale, dry skin

• Elevated blood cholesterol level

• Puffy face

• Increased sensitivity to cold

• Muscle aches and weakness

• Heavier than normal menstrual periods

• Brittle fingernails and hair

• Depression

If this sounds like you, perhaps you should consider seeing your GP (local physician). A simple blood test to check your thyroid levels will give you a conclusive answer, one way or another. After-all knowledge is power! I wonder how many sick, tired women are out there today, not knowing that their thyroid is to blame?

Love-Dawn